JAWS SPOOF
by Howl of a Werewolf
Summary: A humorish virson of the intire first Jaws movie RATED T: For Viliance/ and somewhat coarse language
1. Attacked

CHAPTER ONE!

A drunken girl is skinny dipping, without a care in the world. Unfortunately for her. A giant shark. Doesn't approve of intruders. And began ripping her in half. Her last words were, "MOMMY! I FEEL DISTURBED!" And then was taken to the bottom of the dark ocean, which quickly became red. 'To many bones, WERE'S THE MEAT!' the shark thought as he swam deep into to the ocean.

**YES I KNOW IT'S SHORT! I'll PROMISE TO TRY AND MAKE LONGER CHAPTERS! ANYWAY, I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR REVIEWS! **


	2. Stupidity is a cost

CHAPTER 2

ABOUT A WEEK OR SO AFTER!

Not many people are aware of the pervious incident. Except a man named Hooper (A medical worker). He tells the town's police chief, Mister Brody, it was because of a SHARK ATTACK! In order to convince Brody he isn't lying. He shows a left over piece of the girl's hand. Grossed out, Brody vomited all over Larry's face. "WHAT THE HELL!" Hooper cried angrily. "WHY DO YOU CARRY A CHEWED UP HAND!" Brody cried. Hooper ignored him. "JUST HELP ME PUT UP SHARK DANGER SIGNS!" Hooper said.

LATER!

The two of them successfully placed thousands of danger signs. But instantly everyone ran up to the ocean, not even pretending to pay even the slightest attention to the impossible to be unnoticeable wooden signs. One small little boy went deepest, with his board.

Jaws himself has come to the beach, 'I need someone BIGGER!' He thought, still disappointed with his pervious krappy meal.

Not one person was smart enough to pay attention to the large shark fin, floating inches from there faces.

Jaws was wondering who to eat. Almost everyone was fat, and would make a fantastic meal. But for some odd reason, he went for the small boy.

Not one person was paying attention to the violent screams, and graphic attack. The poor boy was brutally being dragged to the bottom of the ocean, and his fate was desired.

Finally people began panicking when they spotted a huge amount of blood inside the ocean.

Everyone began getting angry at Brody. "YOU SHOULD OF WARNED US!" They cried. Even though he clearly DID!


	3. Wrong shark

CHAPTER 3!

Finally being convinced there's a problem. The town managed to kill a huge Tiger Shark, and figured the danger was. But Hooper WASN'T so convinced.

"What the hell you talking about, shark dead, problem gone" said the mayor. "Tiger shark's were NOT around the beach, SO THE AREN'T THE F***IN PROBLEM!" Hooper cried. "LOOK FOUR EYES! STOP BEING A BABY!" The mayor cried. Hooper HATED being called four eyes. And if it wasn't for Brody holding him back… well, let's say there wouldn't be a mayor anymore. It was here the woman came and told Brody about her little boy being dead.

LATER!

Hooper and Brody were in search for the REAL shark!

**SORRY IT'S KIND OF A LAME CHAPTER! YOU PROBLEY NOTICED I BEEPED OUT THE F WORD, THE STORY IS ONLY K+ LANGUAGE WISE, **


	4. Destoried boatOrginized heads

CHAPTER 4!

**BEFORE I CONTAINUE I'LL LIKE TO THANK 'KOVEASSIAN12' FOR BEING THE FIRST PERSON TO LEAVE A REVIEW! IT'S LITTLE STUFF LIKE THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M NOT WASTEING MY TIME!**

LATE THAT NIGHT!

Hooper and Brody were sailing in a small fishing boat, they came across another small boat, and it was destroyed, mostly by a huge bit mark that is almost as the boat itself. "Dear God" Brody said. Hooper saw a radio. "He must have recorded what happened" Hooper said.

ON RADIO: _(Happily whistling) suddenly gasps. "THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE WATER!... NO! NNNOOO! (Violent sound effects) (Violent screams)! AAAAAHHHHHHA! _END MESSAGE!

"Clearly he saw the picture of my aunt Jury" Hooper said. "How could" Brody started. Hooper should Brody the picture he was talking about, Brody began screaming nonstop, until Hooper put the picture away. "JESUS!" Brody cried. "I know" Hooper replied. Both silvered.

A SHORT TIME LATER!

Hooper was dressed in scuba diving suit. "I'm ready" He said. Then he dived in.

The water was dark and spooky. Hooper could hardly see anything. He came across a dark area. Hooper noticed HEADS! The girl, the little boy, even the person that was most likely on the boat. THEY WERE ALL OGINIAIZED!

Jaws noticed Hooper, 'HOW DARE THE PUNK, APPEAR IN MY HOME!' he thought. Hooper was completely unaware of Jaws. After violently vomiting. He movedvcloser to the heads, as if studying them. "THOSE ARE COLLECTABLES!" cried a sudden very deep voice. Hooper turned around to see a huge 25 pound (Or something similar) great white shark. Hooper screamed in fear, Jaws did the same. After repeating the pattern for almost an hour, they both ran away.

Hooper quickly back on shore. Brody noticed he was pale as a ghost. But as soon he out of the water his face returned to its normal color.

Hooper had just finished telling what happened. "IT CAN TALK!" Brody said in a almost impressed voice, he clearly wasn't lessoning the rest of the story

**HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER! THE RADIO PART WAS INSPIRED BY THE JAWS RIDE IN DISNEY WORLD! I WENT ON THAT RIDE! WHEN WE SPENT TWO WEEKS IN FLORDIA, ON MARCH BREAK!**


	5. Jaws like castles

CHAPTER 5

The next day Hooper and Brody found the Mayer. They noticed him putting a sign using the pervious his hints about shark attack's as a JOKE! (Your get what I mean if you saw the movie!) "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!" Hooper cried angrily. "A SIGN!" The mayor said in a mocking voice, as if trying to teach him the word. "YOU CAN'T OPEN THE BEACH!" Brody cried. "Why… ARE YOU SCARED OF SAND!" The Mayer said laughing. "THE SHARK IS STILL OUT THERE!" Brody cried. "THERE'S A DESTORIED BOAT WITH A HUGE BITE MARK!" He added. "PLUS THERE HEADS!" Hooper added. "In the ocean, there's heads that are strangely organized, PLUS I SAW THE F***IN SHARK! HE SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME, HE'S A WHALE!" Hooper cried. "AAAAAWWW! Wittle Wooper got a scared" The Mayer teased. Hooper lost it, and broke the Mayer's nose. Everyone in the area, stared at them. Two people were dragging him away, as he kept trying to attack the Mayer. "You got OWNED!" Brody teased. "SHUT UP!" The Mayer cried angrily.

ALMOST A WEEK LATER!

Even though he wasn't FULLY convinced there was a Shark. The mayor ordered gun men on patrol boats, around the ocean. Mostly because, otherwise Hooper would basically KILL him.

Meanwhile. Today Brody brought his family, including his son Michael. Who he and his buddies are hanging in the part of the ocean called THE POND! (I'm not sure why).

For a while nothing was happening. Suddenly there was THE FIN! This time people RESPONDED! They instantly began panicking. Within seconds the ocean was empty.

SOON AFTER!

The gun boats were waiting for the moment. Unfortunately it WASN'T a shark. But instead two kids. The gun men looked disappointed but also angry. "HE MADE ME DO IT!" The other said in self defense.

Brody received a call.

"Hello"

"Brody it was just a prank, two kids, with a board or something"

"DAMMIT!"

"Maybe there wasn't a shark after all, maybe the deaths were natural cases"

"WHAT ABOUT THE HEADS! AND THE THING YOU SAW!"

"WHO KNOWS!"

BACKGROUND: _Suddenly the two kids are taken into water by unseen force, water turns red_

"NEVER KNOW WHAT TO EXSPECT, But at least there isn't a shark.

A BIT LATER!

Brody's youngest son, Sean, is happily playing in the sand. "HEY KID!" Said a sudden deep voice. As probley expected the kid turned around to see Jaws "Nice castle, Jaws like castles" In a tone that was strangely friendly. "T Thanks" The kid said nervously. Awkward silence. "You want to smell my breath?" Jaws asked. "N No T Thank Y You" The kid said still nervous. Jaws got angry. "SCREW YOU!" He scream. And stormed off.

Jaws was heading to the pond, 'I'm going to take out my anger by eating someone I never met, for self enjoyment, NOT because I'm hungry' He thought.

A woman spotted Jaws heading to the pond and began telling everyone.

Brody remembered Michael was in there, and ran over.


	6. Shark in the pound

CHAPTER 6!

Mickeal and his buddies were on a that wood thing they were on in the movie. Jaws slowly making his way. Next to Michael and them. Was that guy on the canoe. He was completely unaware of the giant shark fin coming behind him. Until the shark managed to knock over his boat. For some reason Michael and them also fell.

Everyone was running over.

The guy was trying to get onto his flipped over boat. Bellow him was a large spooky figure of Jaws coming close. Michael witnessed as the huge shark bite into his body. He made a horrible scream as he was being taken down into the deep ocean. Michael was frozen with fear. Jaws swam by him but for some reason paid NO ATTENTION to him.

Inside the water was blood that spelled 'JAWS WAS HERE!'

Michael's buddies were pulling him out of the water. He wasn't moving. "IS HE DEAD!" Cried Brody's wife. "No, he's in shock" Brody replied.

MEANWHILE!

Sean was once again playing in the sand again. Jaws throw the man's head in order to destroy his castle, clearly Jaws was still mad from earlier. The kid ran off screaming. "WAIT! YOUR SUPPOSE TO GIVE ME BACK THE HEAD!" Jaws cried.

The boy told his father Brody. Brody noticed Jaws. "SON! I thought I told you… When talking to a giant psychopathic, yet childish shark, ALWAYS smell his breath" Brody told him. "I'M NOT CHILDISH! I JUST WANT MY HEAD!" Jaws said almost in tears. "What head?" Brody asked. "THE ONE I THROW AT HIS CASTLE!" Jaws cried. "That wasn't nice" Brody said. But gave him the head anyway.

LATER!

Besides the awkward conversion, Jaws was still the PROBLEM! Hooper had an idea. And friend of his Kenny (Just someone I made up). Lead them to a shark hunter he new!


	7. Quint

CHAPTER 7!

Kenny introduced Brody and Hooper to Quint the shark tracker. With Quint's boat they searched for Jaws

They searched all day but had NO luck at all, Jaws was sneaky.

LATE THAT NIGHT!

Quint was telling the story of how many men he witnesses being killed by Sharks, all joining one terrifying day. Kenny wasn't taking it seriously and laughed about it. Quint lost it. He grabbed a knife and tempted to chase Kenny. Brody and Hooper grabbed him. "I'LL KILL YOU!" Quint screamed. "PUT DOWN THE KNIFE!" Brody cried. "DON'T F***IN TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" Quint screamed. Everyone began speaking at once.

LATER!

Everyone was doing that song they did in the movie, as if earlier NEVER HAPPENED! The next day they will continue their search for Jaws!

**SORRY THAT CHAPTER KIND OF SUCKED! I'M SAVING MY IDEAS FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER! WHAT WILL HOPFULLY BE THE LONGEST!**


	8. Final

CHAPTER 8!

Everyone was waiting for Jaws. Brody was literary fishing for him. He caught a baby shark. "HA! HA! HA! Thats what is killing everyone" Brody laughed, suddenly the REAL shark jumped up, even eating the smaller one.

Brody made a scream that sounded like it was voiced over by a little girl.

"WHAT'S WRONG!?" Kenny cried. Brody was so scared, that all that came out was gibberish. Kenny slapped him. "Thanks" Brody said. "GIANT SHARK IS GOING TO KILL EVERYONE!" He screamed. "Ou" Kenny said. They both began panicking. "LET'S BRING FOUR EYES INTO AN UNDERWATER CAGE, TO POSION IT!" Kenny said pointing to Hooper. "There's no way were bringing the man into a cage, to go on a suicide mission, to have the unlikely chance to poison a whale sized shark" Brody said.

LATER!

Show's them doing exactly what they said they weren't. "I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS!" Hooper cried. "Your be safe as long you don't look him in the eyes" Brody said with a smile. But as soon as Hooper entered the water, Brody, Kenny, and Quint heard violent beating sounds. They lifted the cage again, but it was all destroyed. "We are going to need a bigger boat" Brody said. "We do not" Quint replied.

As if on Q Jaws jumped out of the water and destroyed the back of the boat. "WE NEED A BIGGER BOAT!" Quint cried. Everyone ran to the safest part of the sinking boat. Kenny wasn't quick enough. "DON'T EAT ME! I'M TOO CHEWY!" He cried before Jaws brutally ate him. "OU MY GOD! IT KILLED KENNY!" Brody cried. "Wait a minute" He said. Suddenly he turns to Quint. "WEREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO DIE?" He cried angrily. "What on earth are you talking about?" Quint said. "I SAW THE MOVIE! You die from the brutal death Kenny took… Instead Kenny took it, and it left me saying a quote from South park" Brody said angrily. "THAT ISN'T PROPER! South park was created in 1992, Jaws was created in the 70" Quint told him. "It's a Fanfiction spoof! I can say what I want!" Brody cried.

LATER!

Quint and Brody are both on the roof top. Quint grabbed the rifle. "WHAT YOU DOING!" Brody cried. "Killing the beast" Quint replied. THAT'S MY ROLE!" Brody replied. Quint fired, but the bullet bounced of a pole and hit killed Quint. Brody picked it up. And after long epic fight, eventually he killed the Shark, ending the terror... For now.

**THE END!**


End file.
